Working Files

Douchebags

crazyvscrazy — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:59:11 +0000

One of the most abominal creations in modern times is the douchebag. They’re eveywhere now, not just the Jersey shore. They’re even in offices.

Almost every person in an office seems to think he or she is better than the person in the next cubicle. This is especially true with guys. They love competition and an office is the perfect environment to breed competitive urges while trying to outsmart each other.

Take these two people. One is a little bit more of a hipster while the other one is a little more rough around the edges. Rough Edges loves to call Hipster a douchebag because he’s always spouting buzz words and phrases during meetings and just in general. To Rough Edges, this is arrogant.

So one day Rough Edges decides to write on the white board underneath one of Hipster’s buzz word definitions. He writes “Tool” and then puts a picture of Hipster underneath it.

My question: does that move not make him now the douchebag?? Yes.

Pot Calling the Kettle Black -
1. Calling someone a tool when that is in fact what you are as well.

Swine Flu

crazyvscrazy — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:26:11 +0000

Working in an office means you’re in close proximity to a lot of different people. Like children in a daycare center, you can’t be too sure how sanitary everyone is. Or what diseases may be lurking in the cubicle next to you.

When swine flu made headlines in the news, the company got together in a brainstorming session to figure out the best way to its employees from contracting it. The answer: hand sanitizer.

Regardless of the hand sanitizer, one employee ending up contracting the virus. Here was the company announcement (use your hand sanitizer!):

Hello… we’ve just heard that ___________ likely has a strain of H1N1. There is no need for alarm, but in order to make sure it doesn’t spread throughout the company, please review the email below. Be on the lookout for any symptoms you might have, and use your hand sanitizer! If you are infected with H1N1, obviously, do not come to work, and go to your doctor. With antibiotics, you should be back to normal in a few days. (Please let me know if you have been diagnosed with H1N1.)

Mystery Mail

crazyvscrazy — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:14:09 +0000

Every week mail seems to pour into the office with no one’s name printed on it. When this is the case, the receptionist sends out an e-mail to the company in search for the proper recipients. Each time the receptionist tries to think of a way to make it exciting and fun. The following is the amusingly disastrous result:

Week 1 -

BAGELS!

Week 2 -

Remember these guys? They want to save you from never getting lost mail!

Week 3 -

Subject: mail and fun!

Here is what’s up for auction today on Mystery Mail Mania